Jenni’s Blog

Christmas

This Christmas I was not only AF, but I wasn’t  a dry drunk. I completed the 6 week programme at the beginning of December 2020. Every Christmas I have said “things will be different next year” and this year they are. I cannot thank Sarah enough for that, neither could my boys, my husband, my parents and the rest of my family.

I cannot put my finger on what has worked for me. I think it may take some time to reflect on that, certainly having unpicked my triggers from the past which was vital for me was a key to it.  6 weeks of no alcohol has given me immense clarity but I think the daily contact, knowing when it is all going wrong and I feel intensely overwhelmed, that Sarah is there to off load to, and respond in such an understanding, non-judgemental, knowledgeable way, very truthful and honest (my god she can be honest!!!), has supported me in a way words cannot describe.

The major changes I have come away with is the perspective of “drinking is something I used to do and I don’t do anymore, no big deal”. A behaviour that I obsessed over, was constantly trying to analyse, find answers to, excuse, change etc etc are now so trivial. I have managed 6 months AF before. The difference this time is that it barley occupies my thoughts. Before I constantly analysed it, my own and other peoples drinking.  Others can do as they please and me, well, I can’t think of a reason I would want to drink.

At the beginning, I was sceptical and doubtful that Sarah’s programme would work for me. I did not think it was possible I would be at this point today. I had contacted her nearly two years ago but decided her programme was too expensive. The reality is, I spent twice the cost in booze over that time and how can you put a price on living, really living a well and fulfilled life.

Although alcohol may have drowned some tough feelings for me, it also made the good ones, the ones that we live for disappear too. I knew life was made harder by my drinking, but I couldn’t find the power to stop on my own. I lived in fear. Fear of carrying on, and fear of how life would be if I stopped. I couldn’t cease on my own, I had tried so many times and every time I failed it just intensified my feelings of worthlessness.

In reality, the world around me is a wonderful place. Tough at times, but then easy is pretty dull right!! I am now seeing the joy that is there. I know it is not possible to feel fully joyous and happy all the time. It is the difficult feelings that come in-between I will continue to learn how to accept and manage better. Now I am well, I know that this and so many other things are possible.

Sarah must have had hundreds even thousands of clients, and somehow she has made me feel special.

If you are a woman, who is miserable from drinking alcohol, have been sucked into this black hole that so many women have been victim of, I cannot urge you enough to contact Sarah. A wonderful life is within reach. I wish all who are reading this well on your journeys, it’s really not as tough as we think it’s going to be.

Happy New Year Sarah, you have given me the opportunity to have a new start.

Jenni’s Blog

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