Mel’s Blog

middle age

 

As a middle class, middle aged Physiologist there was no where to turn as far as I was concerned with a 15 year drinking career under my belt, one would have thought that I would been able to access appropriate care.
This was not the case, but eventually found the professional help that showed a different way. This was a positive approach, which left the negative and disease model of dependent drinking back in the last century. I was shown that there was no need to berate myself with hopelessness and the belief that I had an incurable disease.
Even though to the outsider looking in, I had everything, the fact of the matter was my drinking was a concern, and I knew, left to fester, that it would begin to take its toll, and I would suffer consequences.
What I have learned over the last two months of sobriety, is to above all else, to place value on myself, to not feel guilty about self-indulgence and not to self-harm with wine. That out of 24 hours in a day, there was only ever one hour where I affected a buzz or relief from a problem, that only lead to another 23 hours of abject misery and regret, and time wasted dwelling on the growing habitual drinking.
I have been able to unburden by writing my thoughts down, on a daily basis, for then they are out and are tangible rather than internalizing and then quite forgetting why I had self-medicated in the first place.
I will always have problems and issues to face, they will never go away, but I do not need to make them any worse with drinking, inevitably that is what used to happen, blowing them out of all proportion. Non-drinkers deal with ‘stuff’, and so shall I.
My thought process is clear and sharp, my precious intuition is restored.
I am no longer drinking on old painful memories. They are done, nothing will change that, I have no desire to keep hurting myself with them. Being able to off load, I have concentrated on wellness, have been given good advice on nutrition and how the alcohol had depleted my reserves, what to do if cravings surfaced, it all of course made sense once I had thrown away the cloak of denial and defensiveness. I got honest.
Now I know what it feel like to be totally AF, not an ex drinker or ex alcoholic just a woman who has dealt with a potentially life threatening illness and moved on, with no reason to ever re-visit the subject, my future is exciting and adventurous, with spontaneity restored, and life being lived, I have no time to waste!

Mel’s Blog

Jen’s Blog

Autumn

It is very difficult to explain without writing a book, of how exceptional Sarah and her methods of therapy work.

Having reached 55, consuming my daily bottle of Pinot, running my own reasonably successful business, along with my husband who also joined me in my ‘reward’ at the end of our working day, we were noticing real well, slippage. Not only that there was also beginning to be a dreadful feeling of doom each morning, and not because I had been drunkenly telephoning friends or embarrassing myself at parties, but just almost dropping into an induced coma each night, only to wake at 3am distressed and parched. My skin was blotchy, my eyes not bloodshot to the extent of a massive hangover look, but enough for me to notice are really not want to glance into the mirror, let alone stare at it.

Yes I had gone to the doctor, and lied about amounts, halved it, got a sort of weary verbal script and a few leaflets of place to visit to help cut down, stop whatever. I also tinkered with the idea of AA but where was I going to find the time, and if I did, what would I have in common apart from the booze?

It was a very good friend who recommended Sarah. I live in London, so was sceptical that working with someone who was not on my doorstep would touch the sides. How wrong I was.

So I bit the bullet and agreed to the Six Week Programme online with her. She is so incredibly insightful, it was if she knew what was inside my head, just by sending my diary to her ever day. The speed and experise, understanding and incredible reasons for stopping my habit was like a magic trick.

Additionally, as I got into my new lifestyle, feeling tired, so very tired to begin with, but then truly seeing and feeling WELL, my husband jumped on the bandwagon and he too decided to join me in my new experiments with alcohol free drinks. We are both now completely free of this muck, and in time for the festive season which in the past had always been a sort of blur total waste of money, and very few ‘Yo Ho Ho’s’. This year we have told all that we are not drinking, more than happy if they want to, our children are just so amazed and proud, that the new beginning or chapter as Sarah calls it has just flicked a switch in our heads. We look forward, there isn’t dread, there is authenticity and reality, and complete honesty. We are also saving a fortune, had never added up the cost, it was just staggering!!

So if you think you have a concern, this bold and brave Yorkshire woman is the answer. Just humbled by her passion, her work ethic and total commitment to her clients, how she does it I have no idea, but she does, and thanks will never be enough.

Jen’s Blog